Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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