i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
