i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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