I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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