I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Your penis caused this!
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