she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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