My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
