my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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