Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize