If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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