I think im going to throw up on grandma
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
