i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
