He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
