Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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