i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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