Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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