I can text with my tongue
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
