Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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