dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
