The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
