Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
