im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
