Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize