You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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