You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
