i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
