yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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