What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
The feeling are messing with the penis
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize