Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Randomize
