Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Randomize
