i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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