dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
