what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
