now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
