The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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