you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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