Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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