could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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