I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
