Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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