Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
