Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
