His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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