On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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