Will you blow on my dice?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
