so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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