girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
