If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
