After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
