can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
