i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
