I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize