its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
