Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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