you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
We talked him into tasing himself.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
