my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize