I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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