ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
