I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
