i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
