i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
