We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
