I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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