You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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