finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
