I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
