I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
