youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
