omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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