just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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