I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize