True but thats because hes a fetus.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
