it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
