Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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