the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
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